In a recent conversation with John, a leadership coach who has spent decades guiding executives, one idea stood out: leadership is lived not only on the front stage but also backstage.
We often measure leaders by what we see on the front stage – the presentations, the results, the confidence. But what sustains great leadership is rarely visible. It happens backstage, in the practices, habits, and relationships that no one else sees.
Here are five insights from John’s journey to help you grow deeper roots as a leader.
Success Without Roots Cannot Last
John often uses the image of a tree. Most people sketch branches and fruit, but forget the roots. Leadership works the same way. Without healthy roots, your “tree” cannot endure.
Practice:
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Identify your unseen habits: rest, reflection, coaching, spiritual practices.
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Build them into your schedule before crisis forces you to.
Front stage success without backstage strength eventually collapses.
Home Is a Training Ground for Leadership
John shared how many of his most powerful lessons came from everyday relationships. Empathy, patience, and conflict resolution at home are the same skills that sustain healthy teams.
Practice:
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Pay attention to how you listen and respond in close relationships.
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Ask: what would change if I carried that same posture into my workplace?
Leadership is not a role you put on. It is a way of being.
Balance the Three Dimensions of Thriving
Strong leaders, John says, invest in three kinds of wealth:
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Inner excellence: clarity, character, and emotional health.
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Relational wealth: trust, compassion, and collaboration.
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Professional mastery: expertise, discipline, and results.
Practice:
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Audit yourself. Which of these three dimensions do you over-invest in? Which do you neglect?
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Set one specific growth goal in each area this quarter.
Thriving leaders integrate all three dimensions, not just one.
Guard Against Silent Erosion
John admitted there was a time when he looked successful on the front stage while quietly battling anxiety backstage. Many leaders win externally while losing internally.
Practice:
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Do a quick self-check: what is draining me that others cannot see?
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Share that reality with a trusted friend, mentor, or coach before it grows unchecked.
A leader’s soul is the foundation of their strategy. Protect it deliberately.
Write a Better Story
The ultimate question of leadership is not only what you achieve, but what story you leave behind. John helps leaders ask: what story am I writing with my life?
Practice:
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Try the “tree test”: draw a tree in under a minute. Did you draw roots? If not, ask why.
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Revisit your own story: is it about success alone, or about cultivating something lasting?
Leadership is not just about leading teams. It is about shaping a life that others want to follow.
Leadership Toolbox: 3 Things to Try This Week
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The Backstage Audit
Take 10 minutes to write down your hidden habits — sleep, reflection, mentoring, journaling, or fitness. Circle one that needs strengthening this week. -
Relationship Mirror
Choose one close relationship (partner, friend, sibling). Ask yourself: how do I show up here? Then consider how that same behavior plays out with your team. -
The Tree Test
Draw a tree in under 60 seconds. Did you include roots? If not, write down 3 “roots” you need to invest in to make your leadership sustainable.
Final Thought
As John reminded me, the best leaders lead from the inside out. They nurture their backstage so the front stage rings true. If you want to grow, begin where few are looking: in your unseen roots, your closest relationships, and your daily rhythms. The fruit will take care of itself.
Disclaimer: To protect anonymity, some contributors’ names may be changed, but the stories and lessons are always real.
